Serrated Butt Monkey

3

Artifact Chimp

2/2

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Serrated Butt monkey counts as a butt monkey.

1T: Put a -2/-2 counteron all Butt Monkey=s

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AAnd the point is......@

-Confused spectator witnessing a But Monkey deck in action

 

(Creators note: The Butt Monkey series is meant

as a saterical immitation of the useless Acreature

affects creature@ cards in magic.

i.e. Kobolds, Chimeras, Slivers, etc.)

 

Write Yer Own Damn Card

XX

Artifact

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When Write Yer Own Damn Card comes into play,

create a card with casting cost equal to X, where

X is whatever you feel like. Write yer own Damn Card

then produces an effect of your choice.

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AI=m to tired, you do it.@

- The ENDBRINGER!!!

 

 

Urza=s Pants

5

Artifact Clothing

----------------------------------------------------------

When Urza=s pants come into play, put X spare

change counters on it, where X is equal to the

number of coins in you pocket. On your upkeep,

remove a change counter from Urza=s pants.

If Urza=s Pants leave play, Target opponent owes

you $1 for every Spare change counter on Urza=s pants.

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A...and I thought I had a lot in my couch cushions!@

- Al Bundy

 

Mishra=s Catapult

3

Artifact

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1T: Sacrifice a Pherexian Walker, just for the sake

of getting it off the table.

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AA Pherexian What? Aw just chuck it at

the Keldjorans@

- The beginning of the Keldjorans conquest of the Pherexians

 

Pheraxian Catapult

3

Artifact

----------------------------------------------------------

1T; Sacrifice a Pherexian Walker to destroy

target Mishra=s Catapult.

----------------------------------------------------------

AThey threw what? Aw just chuck it back.@

- The end of the Keldjorans conquest of the Pherexians

 

NallimCam=s Disk

4

Artifact

----------------------------------------------------------

NallimCam=s Disk comes into play tapped.

1T: Destroy all creatures that are currently

pissing you off.

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AMan your annoying! Here hold this......BOOM!@

-The ENDBRINGER!!!

(Creators Note: NallimCam is the reverse spelling

of my last name, al la Larry Nivens disk)

 

 

 

Butt Monkey Canyon

 

Land

----------------------------------------------------------

T: Tap target Butt Monkey, that Butt Monkey gets

-2/-2 until end of turn.

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AMabey I should play Griffins@

-Garth

 

Lotus mountain

Legendary Land

----------------------------------------------------------

Sacrifice to add 723 mana of an color to your

mana pool. This mana cannot be used to pay X, any

upkeep costs, abilities, and/or spells.

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ALet=s see you use all that mana burn boy!@

-Ammused opponent

 

Pointles Precipice

Legendary Land

----------------------------------------------------------

When Pointless Precipice comes into play, Sacrifice

a Pointless precipice, or bury pointless precipice.

----------------------------------------------------------

AThats pointless@

Ayup@

-Actual Conversation

 

Thawed Glacier

Land

----------------------------------------------------------

Counts as a lake

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ANo Comment@

-Embarassed Designer

RETURN